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My father always said that nobody gave a damn about anybody. But all of a sudden someone I did not know who was not asking for anything in return, was looking out for us. It made me think, does this mean that strangers care? And I decided that if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them. What am I going to do? I promised myself that day, I was going to find a way, somehow, someday, to give back and pay it forward. I saved my money from working nights and went out on Thanksgiving and fed two families. It was one of the most moving experiences of my life. It lifted my sprit to see faces turned from despair to joy. Truly, it was as much a gift to me as it was to them. I did not tell anybody what I was doing. But the next year, I fed four families.
Here is what I know, I learned the joy of giving and it had nothing to do with money. Money is simply a vehicle for trying to meet our needs and not just our financial needs. Much of our life is guided by the beliefs we develop over the course of time, the story we create about what life is about, how we are supposed to be, what we are supposed to be what we are supposed to do or give. Ultimately, what is going to make us happy or fulfilled? Everyone has a different happy. Some people find happiness please others, while others find happiness in power and domination. Others define their happy as billion dollars. Something the way to happiness and a meaningful life is to get closer to God and give up everything material. Still others think the ultimate idea of happiness is freedom.
Whatever emotion you are after, whatever vehicle your pursue, building a business, getting married, raising a family, traveling the world, whatever you think your nirvana is, I have found it is only on attempt by your brain to meet one or more of six human needs.
These six basic needs make us trick. They drive all human behavior and are universal. They are the force behind the crazy things people do and the great things we do. We all have the same six needs but how we value those needs and in what order, determines the direction of our life.
Why are the six human needs so important to understand? Well, if you are going to build wealth, you have got to know what you are rally after what you are building it for. Are you looking for wealth to feel certain and secure? Are you chasing wealth to feel special and unique? Or are you looking to have a sense of contribution, you want to do things for others in a way you have never been able to do before? Or maybe all of the above?
If you value certainty as the most important need in your life, you are going to move in a very different direction, act differently in relationships, in business and finance, then if love is your number one need. If we get underneath what you are really after, it not money at all. What you are really after is what you think money is going to give you. Ultimately, it is a set of feelings.